Pretty Little Parody
by uglytalltruther
Summary: a parody of the original pretty little liars tv series. sven spencer, alana ali ariana aria, emerson emily ,tony toby, elfie ezra
1. It all started in an empty barn

Maybe I'm crazy, or high, or somewhere in between but I'm pretty sure Alana is dead. I mean I was literally right there in the huge oak tree right above where I saw shove her still living daughter into a coffin. Of course my first reaction was to barf and pass out, so thats what I did.

After being out cold for a solid 20 minutes I decided to run through the thick forest back into the barn where my friends, Ariana, Sven, Emerson, Alana and I were having a sleepover. Since the barn was so big, ornately decorated with Christmas lights, picture collages, and wide open space, perfect for spreading out all our makeup and hair products. We spent the entire night basically being girls, talking about boys, which was kinda awkward for Emerson since she was attracted to ceiling fans, doing hair and makeup, because we're all facially deformed, and fighting over who would burp the loudest.

I was curling Emerson's long, coarse, black weave that had a certain flow to it that seemed to attract all the guys, when i heard the barn door slam shut. I looked around the barn and to check on the girls. Ariana was sleeping on the couch with her hands in her pants, Sven was reading her book about the Pythagorean Theorem and how it began, and Anna was making out with a guy i didn't even realize was in here on the other couch. After scoping the barn, I realized Alana wasn't there so after a long struggle to open he barn door, I followed the footprints to the DiMantis' backyard. i couldn't believe my eyes. Alana was standing outside with her mother fighting over what seemed to one of those huge back to school glue sticks. i didn't want to be noticed, so i climbed the nearest tree. the first attempt, i got to the top, fell down and then fell to the ground. the next time, i got stuck on a branch and hung there. the third time i climbed to the very top where i could see what was about to go down. Little did i know what i just experienced would change my life forever


	2. Starting Over, or so we thought

All of us have grown apart since that night. We're now in our first year of high school. Sven is focused more than ever on her studies, Anna has gained about 100 pounds, Ariana moved to Finland, Emerson found some interest in boys and I was just being me, average old me. I had okay grades and a pretty normal life. We all wanted to forget about our past.

If you're wondering what happened, Alana went missing. No one knows what happened but me. I refuse to tell anyone.

Late one cold December night, i was curled up in bed when i got a text from Sven. "Alana is dead" it read. "They found her body. Funeral is Sunday, you going?"

Then i got a text from Ariana, Anna, and Emerson saying they were going. I leaned back on my twin bed and closed my eyes. That night played in my head over and over again. It wouldn't stop. A continuous loop of the whole entire thing, over and over. I couldn't help but grab my pillow, shove my face into it and cry. i knew what happened, but for some reason felt surprised. I guess I had some sort of hope that maybe she was still alive.

That Sunday I walked up the stairs to the temple where Alana had her bat mitzvah and into the synagogue. I scanned the entire room to try to find my old friends. In the first row to the right, I saw the back of 4 girls heads. A blonde, two brunettes and the oh so familiar pink hair of Ariana. They all looked so different. Emerson had long straight hair and a now perfectly proportioned body. She was absolutely gorgeous with her deep brown eyes. Next, i hugged Anna, who was now enormous. Beautiful as always, but huge. Her blonde hair and blue eyes complimented her perfectly. Then Sven, she hadn't changed a bit. Clearly she hadn't gotten a visit from the puberty fairy. Her long brown hair and huge round glasses made her look as nerdy as possible. But, i knew that underneath those glasses she was actually a gorgeous girl. Lastly, Ariana. Lord has she changed. She went from being a total hippie to a beautiful fashionista. Her outfit was just amazing. Her bright blue eyes popped when she wore aqua, just like before.

After the service, we were all gathered outside the doors when our phones all went off at the exact same time. I opened my phone only to see:

_Can you order me a ham and cheese sandwich please? Thanks Mom._

We all exchanged confused looks. Then our phones went off again.

_Wrong person. Ignore that._

_ You thought you got rid of me, well I'm still alive._

_ Kisses_

_ -A_

Does that mean she's still alive? She couldn't be. Or could she?


End file.
